Balancing Expectations: To Cave in or Resist?

Expectations can range from anywhere between unspoken, unsaid words to harsh criticizing.

Why do we have expectations?

Dealing with a chaotic world every day is nerve racking, so many things to be done by balancing so many acts and feelings. Who doesn’t want to relax on beach and sip mocktails endlessly! Dream of such vacations is what keeps us negotiating with the world out there. Whether we like or not we need to do something to earn, provide for the family or the society in exchange of so many factors. After all we are social animals. This is where we come to the question of why we have expectations, we have expectations from ourselves and others because we can’t attend to everything and everywhere.

Source of strength or a burden?

Plain and simple Expectations can be energy draining. When children expect parents to play with them, they don’t understand any reasoning like parents are just tired of working many hours to keep everything in order. Still playing with children can help parents to feel some joy that can help them to keep moving further. Expectations can differ in intensity, urgency and loyalty. If someone expects you to break the law for them it is not good, however self-defense is a different matter. When we give in to others’ expectations without analyzing whether those are beneficial or detrimental for us then it is a clear case of burden, because most of the times external expectations are for someone else’s gain. If those expectations help you to do greater things in life, then Source of Strength. If friends expect you to keep in touch with them having supported, you in the tough times is a clear source of strength.

Cave in or Resist?

Should one cave in for the expectations that are set by others or themselves depends on whether those expectations are realistic or not and help in achieving something good. Like in business or work, customers/supervisors expect you to keep doing good job hour after hour or a mother has expectations that children that she took care in their childhood returns the favor in her old age. Resist the expectations if those doesn’t take you anywhere better than you are at today in the long run, remember Life is a marathon and not a sprint. Sacrifice and Cave in are not the same thing because in sacrifice one knows the cost of caving in and is ready to pay for it, the same doesn’t apply to the other case.

Benefits and Drawbacks

Are there any benefits of having expectations from the self, or acknowledging the expectations of others? Again, depends on the situation and what is the expectation. I have been meaning to write a post for quite about some time, but my day job and responsibilities of family didn’t allow until now. I am happy that I am able to write this piece, better late than never :-). Coming back to the topic, some of the general benefits are as below.

• Helps one to know what others are thinking about one’s potential and capabilities
• Helps to weed out unrealistic goals and objectives
• Helps in having an understanding of what society is and which direction is it going
• Helps one to decide what not to be done vs what happens when going in different paths.

however, this also comes with some drawbacks.

• Pleasing others by fulfilling their expectations of you, can make you resent that person.
• Sometime the time spent on fulfilling others’ expectations, can make it impossible to perform course correction
• Ultimately you won’t be satisfied as you wonder about the decisions could have been taken

Closing Notes

Expectations are inevitable for the society to function properly. Citizens expect the government to govern, and Government expect the people to follow the policies and guidelines. Teachers expect the students to study, and students expect the teachers to teach. Human beings have to trust and expect that others do their duties otherwise world will become even more chaotic and as I said in the beginning, one can’t be everywhere and every time. So, pause, take a look at the expectations set on you by the society, parents, friends, partners and children. Learn to appreciate the beauty of the same and do not take anything personal as best as possible.

Take care