The Art of Letting Go: Understanding Detachment

We all know what attachment is. Without knowing we get attached to things, people and places etc. It is very easy process as it happens over the time unconsciously. If everything works well then perhaps you are in few lucky ones with the attachments. If not, it is a lifelong journey of learning, trying to change what was learnt and re learn new points.

Universe has such powers that we can’t grasp with logic or knowledge. For common people even understanding basic concept of quantum physics is difficult. To maintain balance universe makes sure one is paired with situations, circumstances and people that are totally contrast. Remember the old saying, “Opposites Attract”. Attachments are natural phenomenon that happens more generally in nature than detachment. So, the misery attachments bring also are greater in number.

What is detachment? Why is this concept needed?

For anyone of us, we are at the very center of our world, we expect our attachments should provide means of community, security and love as unconditionally as possible. However not everything works the way we want. This time is filled with more negative events than positive ones or at least the negative ones are glorified. When the surrounding becomes so chaotic, we need to practice detachment. It is simply not choosing to get attached even though the core fundamental behavior says so.

Let’s say someone is breaking the traffic rules in front of you, there are two decent ways to act. One is to try to educate that person not to break traffic rules and regulations which are put in place to save lives. Second is to report that person to authorities with valid proof. Choosing the first one can help to boost our moral superiority the risk involved is much higher. With second option all we are doing is reporting, once done that is outside of our control area. We did all we could it is now up to the officials; this generates a sense of detachment from that event. This is needed to have closures. Closures are very important for any of us to move forward. Accepting detachment helps us grow.

Types of Detachments

Physical: Choose to leave behind the material things and possessions which no longer are used. We feel that we are preserving memories through materialistic things but rarely those get ended up in storage. Once in a while (very rarely) we recap and go into nostalgic mood. Getting rid of things we dont use helps us keep all that we own and manage in order easily. It doesnt mean we clean house of all items, just the ones that are holding the space and effort and not providing meaning.

Emotional: Similar to things we carry so many unpleasant memories, grudges, fights and pain over the years, pull those up and play it on mental screen and feel sorry for ourselves. This is not needed; we can grow only when we start reducing meaningless baggage gradually. Otherwise, we get hooked onto it more strongly. It is like someone who loves to eat goes on fasting suddenly for many days. It doesnt mean we do a memory wipe, just the ones which are causing unnecessary pain and suffering.

Spiritual: Yes, this is also one of the types, believe in your favorite deity, worship to your heart’s contempt, try to learn not to compare with other beliefs and devotions. We celebrate festivals of our religion and allow others to celebrate theirs. Worship God and leave the blessing part of almighty instead of sending a Wishlist through prayers. It doesn’t mean we do not go to God but we don’t expect God provides us with all we want.

How to Let Go?

First and foremost is the Intention, we need to understand that we have many attachments and not all of those are worthwhile. Once we intend to do away with these attachments. We can focus on each item to see how best it can be done relatively. After intentions are solidified, we need to carefully Inspect each attachment we have and list those down. Can be anywhere between hundred to a million (I know!) Next is to Think in Silence about each attachment whole heartedly and purposefully to see if that attachment is worth your time and efforts. Later comes, Decision Making, based on the thought process and willingness to keep or sever the attachment choose one side and stick to it. Repeat the process periodically until you feel that I have all the attachments I need.

Closing Notes

It is easier said than done, because evaluating the attachments which we carried for years is not a small feat. It takes lot of agony, patience and repeated assurances that we are doing the best we can to keep moving forward. Look the world with a detached sense and you will not worry much.

Thank you. Until I write again, take care.